Houston fans, let's just break this down for you in the simplest of terms...
It's Been a While - +1 Portland
Without a postseason series win in 7 years, the Rockets should be a little concerned after tumbling from the 2nd spot in the west all the way to the 5th. In fact, they haven't seen the second round since 1997 which isn't surprising is it? Remember, Tracy McGrady is on this team. You know, the only guy in the history of the league to win a scoring title yet never win a playoff series.
Battier Head vs. Oden Head - +1 Portland
That wrinkled mess that Shane Battier displays each night is embarrasing and lacks the versatility of our young rookie. At least when Oden hits the barber shop, he comes out with a 2-for-one hairstyle. Have you seen those wrinkles? From the front, it's a cute quaffed fade, but from the back you've got a whole new world. It's like the new-school mullet: business in the front, freakish party in the back. The natural cornrow? Solid.
The Wafer - -1 Florida State Early Entry
Von might be the only guy in the league to do this one night and then this on another. And what was that pecking duck move in celebration? Is that a faux-hawk? Are those retro-Jordans even though you aren't an MJ sponsored guy?
The Natural - +1 Portland
Hey Dream Shake, remember this?
Mysterious Euro Man-bands - +1 Vujacic
I hear enough about Vujacic and his cheerleader "man-band" but how is it that Luis Scola keeps getting overlooked. Have we decided if he's actually wearing one or not? The pictures available just aren't doing this injustice...justice. Your team loses instant credibility when you allow a guy to ear tuck or man-band for longer than 6 months. In the Lakers case, Kobe outweighs all injustices, but in the Rockets case, T-Mac and Ron-Ron aren't cutting it.
NBA Dance Bracket 1st Round Re-match - Toss Up
Revenge time my lovely ladies.
It all comes down to the Blazers sudden elite level of play plus the Rose Garden advantage plus some injuries woes with Houston plus Nicolas Batum's French sex appeal plus Travis Outlaw's hammers plus Steve Blake's corner threes plus Ron Artest's album sales plus Brandon Roy's swagga. Blazers in 6?