May 27, 2009

20 Ways for David Stern to Fix a Cavaliers Comeback

david stern

Cuzzy of Cuzoogle fame and I, bantered back and forth via Blackberry Messenger last night over the different ways David Stern could possibly rig the Eastern Conference Finals to allow LeBron James and his Cleveland Cavaliers to advance to face off with Kobe Bryant in the NBA Finals.  Here is what we came up with...

1.  Tim Donaghy shows up as game 5, 6 and 7 lead official.
2.  Three point line is removed from the Magic.
3.  Dwight Howard's technical gets re-reversed.
4.  Jeff Van Gundy replaces Stan Van Gundy.
5.  Cavaliers awarded 2 points every time Varejao flops.


6.  Nick Anderson is forced to un-retire and shoot all Magic free throws.
7.  Dwight Howard fails drug test for random women's supplement. 
8.  Kobe mysteriously shows up in a Cavs jersey.
9.  Hedo Turkoglu gets deported.
10.  Magic's Dunking Dancers are only Orlando personnel allowed to dunk.


11.  Courtney Lee's mask arrives with no eye holes.
12.  Actual game is replaced with NBA Live simulation...on beginner.
13.  League ignores new 6 man rule, and Cavs take advantage.
14.  All remaining games moved to St. Vincent St. Mary's high school.
15.  Dirk Nowitzki's girlfriend is allowed into the Orlando locker room.


16.  Stern books a WWE event overtop of Game 5.
17.  Steve Kerr is appointed GM of the Magic.
18.  Cavs show up in Nate Robinson-inspired krypto-nate uniforms.
19.  Mike Brown wiretaps Orlando timeouts.
20.  Cavs advance through pardon from Obama.


Anything else you can think of?  

And don't forget to check Cuzoogle for more NBA Playoff coverage.

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3 comments:

Anonymous 5/28/09, 10:03 AM  

Flip Saunders is hired as orlando's new coach for the remainder of the games

kellex 5/28/09, 10:23 AM  

Allen Iverson is added to the roster.

Anonymous 5/28/09, 12:03 PM  

Hahahaha!!! Love this! The NBA has become a freaking joke. So sad :-(

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