November 30, 2009

Opponents Giving Plenty of Thanks to the Blazers

In honor of the past holiday weekend, the NBA in general would like to take a moment and give thanks to the Portland Trail Blazers.  A thanks for playing some of the worst basketball in the history of Thanksgiving.  And a major thanks for being so unresponsive and lax in every aspect of the game.

A thanks for being so predictable offensively.  For continuing to run the pick-and-roll yet never...really...using...it.  For passing the ball once, maybe twice, each possession so that defensively, zero energy is expended.  For dumping the ball into LaMarcus Aldridge for his hundred thousandth fade-away.  For never actually running an offensive set which requires a single defensive rotation.  For calling "Ice!"again and again and again.  For letting Steve Blake throw up brick after brick after brick.  For benching your best point guard.

A thanks for being so soft defensively.  For continuing to not fight through picks and switch instead, creating wonderful mismatches.  For Aldridge to continue to allow every decent jump shooter in the game to shoot wide open jumper after jumper.  To the Blazers guards who hand out free passes to the basket which in turn puts Oden in perfect position to tack on first quarter fouls.  For letting the league average record setting numbers for points in the paint. 

A thanks to Nate McMillan for blaming his superstars.  Actually, for continuing to blame everyone but himself.  For continuing to say "work" in every sentence.  For wearing mustard suits.  For allowing his staff members to wear mock turtlenecks.

A thanks to Brandon Roy for admitting how tired he is and for never accepting Andre Miller even though the entire world realizes he is THE option.  For providing Canzano with garbage which he'll spin into some sort of controversy.  For starting to question his coach.

A thanks to LaMarcus Aldridge for signing a mega-contract and then disappearing.

Thank you Trail Blazers.

*Twitter Additions*

@bm120 - "thanks for forcing the team to play so slow, when they would be clearly more effective with a faster pace"

@bm120 - "thanks for giving rudy less mpg then his rookie year"

@michaelcusden - "thanks for god damn Steve Blake!"

Austin - "Thanks for continuously playing our third-best three-guard lineup."

Feel free to send more and I'll continue to update.

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1 comments:

Austin 11/30/09, 6:03 PM  

Thanks for continuously playing our third-best three-guard lineup.

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This Portland Trail Blazers blog definitely isn't your basic "recap/report the news" kind of blog. We tend to lean a little to the sporadic and unsystematic side of this young and sexy basketball team. Oh, and you'll definitely see a lot of Blazer Dancer action around here, so bring your bucket of ice.

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